U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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