my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
