Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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