____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
