did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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