I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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