i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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