the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
this is an emotional support booty call
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
