I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
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you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
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So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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