Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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