Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
