I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So much Jack, so little girl.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
