In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
As shirtless as possible
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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