Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
