I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
