I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize