What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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