I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
