yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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