a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
be right there i have to get my cape
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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