You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I still have a little drunk in my system
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
