Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you guys were way drunker than both of me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
