Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
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I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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