your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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