I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Please, let me fuck your mom
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
