No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
