yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
