Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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