I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
