How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
