it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you win again, gameday.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
