my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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