How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
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It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
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Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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