Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
