But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
