And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
