I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
