i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
