Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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