i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
