Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
