Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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