go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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