Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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