I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
