She said her name was "party"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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