we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
