Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
