im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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