We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
