You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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