Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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