I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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