i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
