The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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