so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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