if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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