the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
