i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
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This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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