i barfeds in our rink
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
