It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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