I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
