I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Two words: nipple clamps
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